Let me unpack that:

When you were a kid, do you remember the days immediately following Christmas? You wake up every morning and for a little while, as you rub sleep from your eyes and your brain begins to boot up, you think it’s just another morning like any other. But then you remember:

Yesterday was CHRISTMAS. I have all those NEW TOYS!

And you jump out of bed and begin your long day of playing.

Well, ever since I told my manager that I’d like to quit my job and pursue other things, I’ve had mornings sort of like that. I wake up and I’ve forgotten that anything significant has happened. I roll over, hit the snooze button… and then I remember:

N days ago, I finally told my manager I would like to quit my job and go to grad school!

And then comes a flood of mixed emotions: relief, happiness, terror, sadness, etc. Very very different emotions from what you’d feel on post-Christmas mornings, which is why I’m calling this “anti-Christmas feelings” (Sort of like the “anti” in “anti-hero”).

And so far, each morning brings a different set of emotions. The first morning, it was all about the joy and relief. The second morning, after I’d broken the news to my team (who I LOVE btw), it was mostly sadness and heartache.

Granted, I’ve only had TWO mornings like that so far, but I expect this feeling won’t go away until my actual departure date. I’m very excited to be moving on and on my way to do other things, but I expect these last few weeks at work will feel a bit like being in Limbo.

I have absolutely no regrets or second-thoughts though. As much as it hurts to leave a team I love, I think I’ve known for a long time that Tech Writing is not the career for me. It feels GREAT to finally acknowledge that and take steps to find what I really want to do with my life.

Anyway, the full details of why I’m leaving, and why I think Tech Writing is the wrong fit for me will probably come out in a separate blog post.

I cant find anything in the program that says I can’t invite people through my blog so…

Here’s my recruit-a-friend / ascend-a-friend link.

Anyway, it would be awesome if I knew more people in-game. I’m enjoying seeing all new content, and learning brand new lore. I’m mostly playing Defiant-side right now, but I want to see some of the Guardian side too. It would be nice if I had people around to help figure things out, or who wanted to group up for instances or group quests every once in a while. I have a few friends from my WoW guild and a few friends from real-life who play, but we have different play-times, and we’re all different levels, etc, so it doesn’t happen very often.

Anyway, hopefully see you in the world!

Once upon a time, I used to write a lot of fiction. Fantasy/Sci-Fi as a kid, literary fiction in college, etc. I even wrote a play once.

But somewhere along the way, I became a technical writer, and when you’re writing for a living in a genre that is the antithesis of fiction, sometimes things get lost. And, I’m not just talking about losing your motivation to write, which definitely happens. I’m also talking about rusty skills. Really really rusty skills.

Yesterday, a friend of mine shared a draft of some fiction he wrote, and I had a total blast reading it and writing feedback. I got extremely nostalgic for my fiction classes in college, and the whole close-knit workshopping group energy. It also made me realize that I still really really care about the craft of writing. I might not have the same analytical skills, or the same instincts, but I had a blast putting thought into someone else’s fiction and offering up what I thought would make it work better.

Today, I tore through my apartment until I found a very old USB stick that contained all my documents and essays and yes, all my fiction, from college. I just spent about an hour and a half uploading them all into Google Docs. I’ve got about 30 documents from my fiction class. Some of them are rough drafts, unfinished ideas, half-formed bits of scene, etc. But, there’s also a few totally finished pieces. And one of them, I still think is pretty good.

I’m very motivated to get back into fiction now. I’m thinking Mondays or Wednesdays might be good days to regularly designate as Fiction Days.

On Fiction Day, videogames, tv, and beer will all be off-limits. Writing and reading fiction won’t be. Also, talking about fiction, blogging about fiction, or reading about the craft of fiction will also be totally fine.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling and personal thoughts. But it’s my blawg and I can do with it what I want. :)

You: Hey Penny! Where did all the archived posts go?

Me: Oh those? Yeah, they’ve been changed to “Private”.

You: How come?

Me: Shame, mostly.

You: Eh?

Me: Okay that’s a lie. Actually, I’m in the process of rebooting pennyhero.net so that it can become a reasonably sane blog that I’d be comfortable sharing with anyone (professionally or personally).

You: Ahhh. So, does this mean that all your angsty teenage ramblings are gone forever?

Me: Maybe? Probably? They’re safely stored under lock and key now. (Although, I’m sure they still live in google cache, or the Internet Archive, or something like that.) I may resurrect a few choice posts for the sole purpose of making fun of my angsty teenage self, but otherwise yeah.

You: Resurrected teenage angsty zombie posts sound like a lot of fun.

Me: If anyone on the internet would think something like that, it would be you, wouldn’t it.

Then we went our separate ways for the day. :)

Well, you’ve waited long enough!

Here’s the 30 second synopsis of my fiction project:

The only two nations that exist on this fantasy-ish planet have been at war for pretty much all of recorded history until the son of the emperor of one nation learns how the war started in the first place (sorry, no spoilers), decides to try and stop the war by taking human form and seducing the queen of the other nation. He hopes she’ll love him, understand, bring peace, etc. However, she finds out who he is prematurely (due to her form of innate magic), immediately distrusts, fears the worse etc, and decides “fuck my life” (only more melodramatically) and when their halfbreed daughter is born, she sends her into hiding and disappears herself to go form some kind of underground resistance to the tyrany that she thinks is her in-laws’ people.

This changes the form of the war, but doesn’t end it. Boo fighting. And no one can find or kill John Conner I mean, mommy dearest, the leader of the human resistance (not to mention her disappeared kid).

My story begins about 16 years later when her daughter finds out that not only was she adopted, but she’s also the daughter of this woman all her school teachers are told to say is a crazy insurgent nutjob (and probably dead). She goes totally emo (also her form of magic is waking up, and going haywire since she’s zomg only half human) and she runs away.

Her younger adopted brother, who loves her to death regardless of how fucked up she’s becoming, is the “main” character of the book I’m writing now, and he’s run off to find her and restore her sanity/stability and help her on her quest to find out who and why she is (uncovering all the backstory and history and politics along the way). Eventually it becomes their job to clean up the mess left behind by the previous generations.

At some point, the story will loop back to the origins of the war once daughter and father meet up, which is tied to the “genesis” of humanity on the planet (all of which is lost to human history). If I ever finish it, it will be a several book series… somewhat epic. OR, I could simplify it quite a bit and it will just be a young adult coming of age novel from either the brother or the sister’s point of view.

Okay that’s it! No stealing my ideas! Feel free to laugh at my silly summary. :)