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I was driving through Hilo this afternoon, and I suddenly had this insanely strong I’m done with Hawaii feeling. Don’t know why… I think it’s just the fact that nothing has changed whatsoever. I know when most people go back home, they have the same resentment towards their hometown… usually. college life makes you feel all elitist and crap.

I also feel really crappy for my bro. He’s got it way harder than I did in high school.

I wanted to write an article about my return and make it all about how “things change, but everything remains the same” for the Tribune Herald and try to get myself a guest-column job… but I can’t bring myself to write anything nice about hilo. I wish I loved this place like I used to. Flying in, I used to almost cry because I missed it here so much…

Last time I was here, I got all sentimental and happy to be here. All this spiritual stuff came back to me, but there’s nothing like that now. It might be because of the move. The house I grew up in is being sold. the rock I used to sit on is completely covered by an autograph tree and you can’t even see it anymore. The Dinosaur house is being sold and possibly rebuilt. The tree I used to talk to got cut down. I can’t see the ocean from the new house, yadda yadda.

This might all just be because I’ve been sick. I’ll probably really regret it when I leave. I love my friends and my family and I’ll hate it if this turns out to be my last time here… but…

I dunno. it’s all complex and silly. And I can’t write right now either.

This entry makes it sound like I’m miserable! shit! no really, it’s nice and relaxing. 56k teaches me much patience. I can watch an entire episode of Family Guy while my friends list loads. :) I even met a few new people and didn’t freak out and clam up around the girl I met. yay. :)

Party tomorrow. birthday the next day. isn’t that neat? :)

Lj just ate my last post.

Someone should suggest that error pages be written so that they will copy the text of the entry you tried to write and re-display it… this would allow people to save the entry. I’d make the suggestion, but I have no idea how it could be done… so my suggestion would not sound very intelligent.

*sigh*

So, I’m here, in Hilo. And I’m soooo sorry to and to anyone else I somehow failed to tell that I was leaving. Anyway, I was kidnapped from my mom’s place around 3:30am and taken to Dean’s. Now I’m just playing on lj, because my mom’s computer is so full of spyware that the internet is almost unuseable… and the connection is only 56k, which means it’s really difficult to download ad-aware. I wish I could save that computer, but I was too exhausted.

Plans for this trip include

• Party at Dean’s
• See and
• See Candace, Daniel and Jenn
• Go to the beach with mom
• Christmas shopping
• send gloating sunny postcards to my miserable friends in rainy Oregon.
• try not to cry more than twice about saying goodbye to Yuu-chan.

This list may be updated… duh.

Usually, I’ve got a strong consistent opinion on issues relating to discrimination.

But I just discovered a case where I think I support this judge’s decision to allow Kamehameha schools’ to keep their admissions policy intact.

Since they don’t recieve federal funding, and the schools were founded specifically for Hawaiians, I don’t see a problem. I hesitate to call it “discrimination” at all. It’s more like a specialized school.

Every person should be considered equal to each other in our country and legal system. But this doesn’t mean that everything is going to be uniform. Race is always going to be present, and I sometimes think that it is ok to have organizations like this, especially if they are standing on their own feet, and not on government funds, for example.

(Yahoo News Link)

I found this article from ’s journal.

I went for a walk this morning. I’ve decided that I like sunshine a lot. And I like walking, hiking, breathing here. Every time I come back, I realize how much I want to live here again. It is very much alive to me here, and although I’d like to share, I think I’ll spare you the romantic magical experiences I had this morning. In Oregon, I never felt things like I feel them here. This morning I felt myself slipping back into the sage I once thought I was. *sigh* The things you simply cannot do in Oregon…

I miss it. I took the ocean for granted when I lived here. The sun too. And the lava rocks (which still look/feel like the backside of some dragon to me).

I remember camping near Shipman Beach with Steve and Alastair, and knowing things that… simply don’t exist in the mainland. Is it a symptom of delusion? Or is this place simply younger, more dream-like, and more expressive? Places like London are haunted because of their long histories. But Hawaii is still very much alive, in ways that the larger continents themselves can’t even close their eyes and dream of.

4.5 (ish) hours is much too long to have nothing to do at an airport. I played Bejeweled until my laptop started beeping at me (“need…more…power…”) and then I read for seven years. At one point I wandered around looking for the cheesiest post-card I could find… but failing that, I bought orange juice and a harvest bar instead.

Anyway… just before my 90th birthday, my flight finally boarded, and I ended up sitting next to this guy Casey, who used to sit behind me in Chemistry during my junior year. (Yay Mr. Kloetzel’s class! Yay pringles-can rockets!) So we’re re-living various explosive chemistry memories, making other passengers around us wonder if we are dangerous, laughing our asses off for most of the 51 minute flight. The Big Island comes into view, and along the Hamakua coast, there are half a dozen waterfalls visible. Casey points at two big-ish streams side by side…

Casey: hey, I wonder which ones those are. Don’t recognize them.
Me: I dunno. Maybe they are new. *laughs*
Casey: Yeah. New. Like, there was an earthquake since I was here last September and…
*five minutes of hysterical one-up-rediculousness about these “new” waterfalls as plane nears the island*
Casey: *pause* Hey… *points to the waterfalls again* Those are buildings.

Anyway… Kitties! They don’t remember me yet, but they are still cute and fun and stuff. Vince almost fell off the deck’s railing when he saw me coming up the stairs. He would have been turned into a pancake kittie if it weren’t for his god-like (naturally cat-like?) ability to recover his ballance. Give them a few days, mom says.

In Other News: I’m sick. It sucks. But that’s ok. I’ve got orange juice and NO STRESS until … I dunno… until I have to pack again.

Ok… my head is tired… brain hurts. Time to go sleep.

Oh oh oh! Before I forget! The SKY! Tonight, the clouds are silver, ocean is like mercury, stars are like glittering sand.

I think I missed that the most.