Starla on religion.
Last night, I had a conversation with someone about religion. (mistake number 1) We exchanged our personal “side” on things. (mistake number 2.) I let this guy get to me when he said I was going to go to Hell. (mistake number 3.) So I went to bed feeling very very hurt. And I woke up feeling like a truck had hit me. Now I am ok of course. Resilience is a skill which never leaves you. Especially for those of us with mild bi-polar disorders.
I discovered last night that in a lot of cases, religion does nothing but divide people. Throughout history, people have fought wars, excommunicated people, damned others to Hell, and flew planes into large buildings all in the “name of God”. Most of these people all claim to subscribe to the same religion too. They claim to believe in the same god. Even in cases of conversation between the most open minded people, negative feelings preside. Each person looks down on the other with sympathy, pity and prays that one day they too will come around. Religion’s purpose should not be to propagate hate for other people. Once religion starts doing that, it defeats itself. I don’t like that. This self-righteousness superiority. I don’t need anyone’s pity. But I am guilty of feeling pity for those I feel are unenlightened.
How does one reconcile these conflicting realities? Christianity has evolved so much over the eras… And even today, one priest will say homosexuality is a sin. And another priest will say it is a regular expression of love. The sick part is that both priests subscribe to the same religion… and both of them believe that the other one will burn in Hell.
As an epilogue, the ragged edges of my soul have been soothed by the comforting presence of my Japanese notes and my English Literature text book. Oh, and Atlas Shrugged. Can’t forget Ayn Rand.
I spent six hours studying in Java II today. I have three midterms tomorrow… grr. Studying was actually quite fun because Takeshi hung out with me and drilled me in my Japanese. We talked and I learned that he really isn’t a superficial flirty danger to my virginity, well you know what I mean. He’s got a girlfriend, but she’s returning to Japan in 2 months, and Takeshi apparently has the same views I have on long distance relationships (and the same apparent addiction. ha. ) So anyway. Seems we are kindred spirits and I think I’m going to go party with him and his room mate soon. And meet his girlfriend. :)
I came back from studying feeling semi-normal. I even went and played Smash Brothers with the guy who condemned me to Hell. (god he is so good at guitar. If we lived in the ’70s, I’d call him “dreamy”) I’m soooo disappointed that our views on theology are so fundamentally in conflict. He was um… very attractive. Stupid musicians. Stupid martial artists. STOP LEADING ME ASTRAY!
La la la. For the record: Adi’s bracelet likes me best. (/inside joke)
