Voluntarily quitting my job at Google gives me sort of these “anti-Christmas” feelings every morning.
Let me unpack that:
When you were a kid, do you remember the days immediately following Christmas? You wake up every morning and for a little while, as you rub sleep from your eyes and your brain begins to boot up, you think it’s just another morning like any other. But then you remember:
Yesterday was CHRISTMAS. I have all those NEW TOYS!
And you jump out of bed and begin your long day of playing.
Well, ever since I told my manager that I’d like to quit my job and pursue other things, I’ve had mornings sort of like that. I wake up and I’ve forgotten that anything significant has happened. I roll over, hit the snooze button… and then I remember:
N days ago, I finally told my manager I would like to quit my job and go to grad school!
And then comes a flood of mixed emotions: relief, happiness, terror, sadness, etc. Very very different emotions from what you’d feel on post-Christmas mornings, which is why I’m calling this “anti-Christmas feelings” (Sort of like the “anti” in “anti-hero”).
And so far, each morning brings a different set of emotions. The first morning, it was all about the joy and relief. The second morning, after I’d broken the news to my team (who I LOVE btw), it was mostly sadness and heartache.
Granted, I’ve only had TWO mornings like that so far, but I expect this feeling won’t go away until my actual departure date. I’m very excited to be moving on and on my way to do other things, but I expect these last few weeks at work will feel a bit like being in Limbo.
I have absolutely no regrets or second-thoughts though. As much as it hurts to leave a team I love, I think I’ve known for a long time that Tech Writing is not the career for me. It feels GREAT to finally acknowledge that and take steps to find what I really want to do with my life.
Anyway, the full details of why I’m leaving, and why I think Tech Writing is the wrong fit for me will probably come out in a separate blog post.
3 Comments
Congrats on your decision, it’s a tough one to make! I’m looking forward to hearing more about your grad school plans on here :)
Hi Emily, I know it’s been ages if not years since my last comment, but I’m glad you know what you want (or don’t want) to do with your life… I remember (via LiveJournal?) when you moved about 5 years ago. My own path has taken a wild turn. As a software Technical Writer at Tririga for the last five years, I occasionally wondered if there was something more to Microsoft Word or Adobe Acrobat. I’ve always wanted to develop our content in HTML or PHP format. But something else always had a higher priority. Then suddenly, in the last few months, almost out of the “blue”, IBM acquired Tririga. While it’s been a confusing and complicated integration process, the opportunities I have now as an Information Developer is amazing. I certainly can’t wait to code our source content in XML-based DITA. And in a few years, I probably won’t have to deal with the clunkiness of Word anymore. Nice! With Google under your belt, I hope a pot of gold shines at the end of your rainbow too. Good luck!
xJAYMANx
Hey Em,
A long way from the cute girl in the filed of dreams.
I am ready to drink the punch you are so pleased as with this momentous decision. But as you say, it just isn’t right for you and that awareness is really awesome.
I am looking forward to following your progress as you continue your education.
Warmest Regards and Best Wishes,
FG
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