Penny Hero (dot) Net

So, today I had two meetings, neither of which involved me contributing anything accept laughter at Geff for leaving us to pick up his tab the night before after our Budget-request thingie. I was slightly annoyed at the website meeting though, because the first half was basically my boss and co-worker talking about security issues with authenticating our future userbase… all of this I pretty much followed, if not totally understood. I can listen to people discussing security issues and contrary to popular anti-feminist belief, my brain does not turn off. The thing that irritated me was that when it came time for my boss to ask me how the design aspect of development was going, he immediately “dumbed down” his language, to the point that he should have been embarrassed. Yes, I know how to install extensions on firefox, and you don’t need to be surprised when I do it right in front of you. Yes, I know how to upload a static html file to my onid account. Yes, I know how to locate and view a page’s css. My co-worker also seemed to notice, and tried to enter the conversation on a more “normal” level, asking me more specific questions… but my boss maybe didn’t quite notice that.

*sigh* The problem is that I’m probably to blame, because I don’t know how to talk about what I understand. I can make webpages. I even know a little php. I’m learning how to work with more advanced web design stuff, and well on my way to understanding how xaraya themes work. I can modify and write css and “make shit look cool”, and make it work across various browsers, but because of my lack of group-experience, I’ve never had to actually talk and discuss stuff… so I don’t know what things are called, or how group-procedure is generally done. So if I would just learn the vocabulary/diction/discourse that they are involved in, and pushed myself into the conversations a little more, maybe he would stop thinking of me as an archetypal “non-technical girl”.

The funny thing is, my boss’s wife is apparently pretty feminist-ish… so it’s kind of funny that he seems to default to this way of interacting with me. It’s probably NOT because I’m a girl though… I should give him the benefit of the doubt… he’d probably talk like this to any guy who appeared to have the lack of understanding that he seems to think I have…

Anyway… that’s all for now I think. I have seven chapters of The Turn of the Screw to read… and a crappy Philosopy paper on Descartes (*pukes*) to write… and a nihongo test to study for… and a pallet page to make, and some layout mockups to make, and some MLA research to do…

And it’s all going to make me explode at some point soon because my personal life is growing more and more tense… and the more I try to ignore it, the more it scratches at the window. (I’m telling you… androgyny would be nice! demo, I think there’s something wrong with me if I’m trying to cut myself off from the very things that make us human beings and not ants. )

P.S. Hi and *hugs* to . I had no idea you were still lurking around livejournal. Glad to see that you are. ^_____^