March 2004

Go Mixed Feelings!

My dad’s cousin (I think that’s the relation) is in this story. I feel strangely special and frustrated at the same time. Special because well, a family member of mine (whom i really like!) has been quoted in national news… and frustrated because I had no idea that he was spokesperson for the Defense of Marriage Coalition. (president of it? according to my stepmom.)

(Oregon county bans all marriages - period)

Go mixed feelings! Ra ra!

At least it’s not as tumultuous as the whole “let’s go invade Iraq” thing that had me wanting simultaneously to move to Canada, and go see my brother who’s now out there…

P.S. Who bought me a subscription to Nintendo Power? My brother (top suspect) says it wasn’t him. Was it you? If so, xie xie. :)

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Life as … that D word derrida made up that I cant type this comp has no french accents

So, I just had these ideas and I want to write them down in a place more ‘concrete’ than a piece of scrap paper. (the internet is more concrete than paper? wow)

Derrida has “force” and “structure” working together to create meaning, to create the way we see the world… His ideas have been playing in my head for months now, and… ok, so I was reading this article about how the discovery of life outside Earth would probably lead to a large religious identity crisis on earth, revolution etc. In other words, this discovery would be just as significant as “the earth is round” and “we aren’t the center” yadda yadda, no duh.

ANYWAY

This led me to thinking about the origin of life, and thinking about life is like Derrida’s “force” or “play”. And the physical matter is like Derrida’s “structure”. It came to me that even on a molecular level, motion and force is essential. No scientist ever has reached Absolute Zero as of yet, and even if they could, it’s been theorized that the matter itself would break down, or at least be easily and completely changed with the use of precision “tweezers” that could restructure the molecular bonds once all internal kinetic force and energy was gone. (It’s like molecular anaesthesia, and could allow for matter-threatening surgery or whatever, yadda yadda)

So, using derrida’s ideas of force+structure (not to mention both sides of any binary opposite) being essential and inherent for meaning to exist, it would make sense to me if we discovered that matter and energy together is essential and inherent for anything to exist in our world (physics here).

Ok ok ok. I’m not done here.

Going back to thoughts on the origin of life. Life seems like a creative form of this force+structure thing… it does more than just exist, or float around in the universe recombining. It’s got meaning and “consciousness” and all this other stuff that makes it different from other physical things.

This seems analogous to what language is in relation to like… sound. Or even just the things that animals do to ‘communicate’. Some event? in the history of “life” resulted in language, which is really essential if not inherent to the ability to consciously think, or so it has been theorized, and so i’ve come to accept, yadda yadda, i’ll go into detail later.

language uses the relationship of force and structure to create meaning, and in conveying and recieving meaning. Similarly, force and structure (matter and energy) have been put into place in order to create life. See where I’m going?

So it could be that if we could find the ‘origin’ of language, or do more research into the origin of consciousness, we could find an analogy for the origin of life in the universe…. find an analogy that would describe the processes by which chemicals found themselves recombining in creative ways… the way sounds (in our human case) found themselves recombining and creating a language.

This analogy seems disconnected, far-fetched in the form i’m writing it now. But it’s just enough that I’d like to read more, do more, understand more, write more and explore this idea more and see if it’s got any potential.

blah. ok. i’m going to go finish reading that article now.

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zizek foucault ideas

Something I want to think about later: The biggest problem with social and political criticism is that it is inaccessible to the masses. The masses, with their voting power and simply because culture is created by the entire body of the massive populace, are the ones who could enact change in the social and political structure.

If Foucault’s and Zizek’s ideas were in a form more easily understood by everyone, I think that real change would be inevitable, and much more rapid.

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Go j-pun.

discouraging/funny pun thing that’s only amusing if you know nihongo:

For kicks, I was composing in Japanese what I would like to say to SC/ongaku boy next time I saw him.

The phrase “I want to say something” is nanika itai. coincidence, or not, nanika itai is also “something hurts”.

Funny? no?

I laughed.

And then I wanted to cry.

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Ur-Quan Funny.

I’m reading the um… manual for Ur-Quan Masters port.

“Don’t hit the planet unless you want to take LOTS of damage.”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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Sparklehorse love

This song makes me feel fuzzy. :) In a good way. Read the lyrics and feel fuzzy with me. If you ask really nicely I might send you the mp3.

Hundreds Of Sparrows

every hair on your head is counted
you are worth hundreds of sparrows
the tree you planted has become fecund
with kamikaze hummingbirds

wings of hundreds of beats per second
of people whose wings are just a blur
afraid our eyes might become impaled
by their sharp and tiny beaks

I’m so sorry
my spirit’s rarely in my body
it wanders through the dry country
looking for a good place to rest
your head upon my chest
and I can feel the pillow of your breast

you are worth hundreds of sparrows

I like being exposed to cool new music.

In Other News: Did I mention I feel fuzzy? It’s that big crush kind of fuzzy. :) *sigh*

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Go Diane Linn and Co!!

CLICK ME

Just in case you didn’t hear about what’s going down in Multnohmah County. :) :)

We fucking rule. I’m not even from Portland. :)

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