My body and I used to have a very love/hate relationship. But mostly hate. I hated how clumsy it was. I hated how it did not reflect anything close to who I really was. I hated the disparity between the person other people saw and the person I was inside. Hated it. I was two sides of a canyon. Ugly.
I don’t know what changed. I don’t know if every girl goes through this or not. Probably not… because if so, more women would be presidents, astrophysicists, biochemical-engineers, surgeons, soldiers.
I would not be who I am if I did not feel this way. I don’t know how I ever functioned properly without this. Me and my V are buddies now.
I want to meet more people who are capable of celebrating the human body.
I want to hear more songs, poetry, and public art that are created to celebrate sex.
And by celebrate, I mean like sunrises, or rhinestones. Celebrate it like parents. Celebrate it like I celebrate the awesome physics of neutron stars and the experience of real hugs.
The fact that not everyone celebrates is one of the great injustices that will never be solved in the big picture. One of those things like bad politics, slavery, Microsoft… en masse, no change is completely possible. I’m sure there’s some sociological law describing this, and I wish I knew its name. But the corollary to this law will describe how we can still live our own individual lives without suicide sometimes. Like how people in large groups are stupid, but individuals are unique and intelligent.
That’s how we have to live. That’s how we have to celebrate.
Happy V-Day. (a few hours late, but… yeah)
glowing_fish | 14-Feb-04 at 7:17 pm | Permalink
The Chinese are widely considered, even by themselves, to be shy and cautious about sex.
But in Taiwan, I have seen quite a few billboards displaying fully nude women (without any breasts or genitals showing,though).
This is my opening data, or anecdotes…do you want to hear my theories?
starladear6 | 14-Feb-04 at 7:20 pm | Permalink
I’m hoping comments about this won’t end up going into the “displaying fully nude women” area.
Objectifying women (or men!) to sell products or feed an industry based on sexually objectifying people is not what I mean by celebrating.
:)
dunedan | 14-Feb-04 at 7:23 pm | Permalink
I completely agree with you. You’d think our country would be more relaxed about sex since we buy/sell so much damn PORN. Its like everyone in the US is still in-the-closet sex freaks. In private everyone wants sex, but in public its against the law to show a female nipple, buts it not against the law to show violence or other negative emotions.
Very puzzling. I think its a Christen thing. After reading the bible you’d come to think Christ himself died a virgin! Thats the thing about unquestionable faith.
I think the only way to fix the whole sex-discrimination matter is the teachings of Kama-Sutra should be REQUIRED reading in High School.
Happy Belated-V-Day Emily
-Dunadan
glowing_fish | 14-Feb-04 at 7:27 pm | Permalink
Well, the ad I am thinking of specifically is a woman lying down on a bed. I don’t know if a person resting on a bed is more “objectifying” than seeing a face smiling from chewing doublemint gum.
starladear6 | 14-Feb-04 at 7:31 pm | Permalink
Ha ha ha.
I had a feeling that everyone would think I was talking about the act of sex, or nudity. I debated long and hard about including the word “sex” in the entry at all.
Not that I dissagree with you at all. I agree completely. :) That’s just not what I was talking about here.
And yes, I think that the cultures and religions that shaped our current world are very much the cause of the attitudes and oppressions we find today. It’s not just Christian religions though… it’s almost every monotheistic religion… and countless other factors that have created this in the entire human world.
dunedan | 14-Feb-04 at 7:42 pm | Permalink
So are you now saying, to stay on subject, that you’ve come to an agreement with yourself and there is no longer any hate involved?
And maybe I dont understand cause I am not a girl, but what does your experience relate to other women not becoming presidents, astrophysicists, and the like?
-Dunadan
starladear6 | 14-Feb-04 at 7:48 pm | Permalink
It has to do with expelling this very deeply-sat self-oppression. It’s something I didn’t even know I was doing until it went away.
It’s like, recognizing the value of something inside that you never even knew was there before. After that, there is this sense of personal empowerment. Not the “I can do anything and I’m invincible!” power. More like the power that comes from settling comfortably within yourself, and ending a spiritual quarrel that had been the status-quo since birth.
It could be that it’s difficult for non-women to understand this. I’d bet that if this is a woman-thing, there is an equivallent potential for men. It could be that I’m just talking about it in “girl language” and it would simply need to be translated.
dunedan | 14-Feb-04 at 7:56 pm | Permalink
I am very familiar with what you are saying now that you explained it that way. I think both genders go through the process of becoming comfortable with who they are and find comfort in a kind of acceptance. Its probably true though that guys can use denial much more effectively then women since we can close off feelings and emotions easier. Thats why we have so many SOB bullying and abuseful men everywhere.
I am extremely happy for you! But take care. Not all problems can be overcome by Will alone. There is still the physical side that can cause havok. My dear cousin is going through that right now. She has the right mindset but her harmones are off balanced.
-Dunadan
autarchex | 15-Feb-04 at 2:35 pm | Permalink
“Me and my V are buddies now” + “Celebrate it like I celebrate the awesome physics of neutron stars”
Gems like this are why I so vastly enjoy conversations with you.
starladear6 | 16-Feb-04 at 9:44 am | Permalink
ha ha ha. :) um, neat. *wiggles*