Last night, I had a conversation with someone about religion. (mistake number 1) We exchanged our personal “side” on things. (mistake number 2.) I let this guy get to me when he said I was going to go to Hell. (mistake number 3.) So I went to bed feeling very very hurt. And I woke up feeling like a truck had hit me. Now I am ok of course. Resilience is a skill which never leaves you. Especially for those of us with mild bi-polar disorders.
I discovered last night that in a lot of cases, religion does nothing but divide people. Throughout history, people have fought wars, excommunicated people, damned others to Hell, and flew planes into large buildings all in the “name of God”. Most of these people all claim to subscribe to the same religion too. They claim to believe in the same god. Even in cases of conversation between the most open minded people, negative feelings preside. Each person looks down on the other with sympathy, pity and prays that one day they too will come around. Religion’s purpose should not be to propagate hate for other people. Once religion starts doing that, it defeats itself. I don’t like that. This self-righteousness superiority. I don’t need anyone’s pity. But I am guilty of feeling pity for those I feel are unenlightened.
How does one reconcile these conflicting realities? Christianity has evolved so much over the eras… And even today, one priest will say homosexuality is a sin. And another priest will say it is a regular expression of love. The sick part is that both priests subscribe to the same religion… and both of them believe that the other one will burn in Hell.
As an epilogue, the ragged edges of my soul have been soothed by the comforting presence of my Japanese notes and my English Literature text book. Oh, and Atlas Shrugged. Can’t forget Ayn Rand.
I spent six hours studying in Java II today. I have three midterms tomorrow… grr. Studying was actually quite fun because Takeshi hung out with me and drilled me in my Japanese. We talked and I learned that he really isn’t a superficial flirty danger to my virginity, well you know what I mean. He’s got a girlfriend, but she’s returning to Japan in 2 months, and Takeshi apparently has the same views I have on long distance relationships (and the same apparent addiction. ha. ) So anyway. Seems we are kindred spirits and I think I’m going to go party with him and his room mate soon. And meet his girlfriend. :)
I came back from studying feeling semi-normal. I even went and played Smash Brothers with the guy who condemned me to Hell. (god he is so good at guitar. If we lived in the ’70s, I’d call him “dreamy”) I’m soooo disappointed that our views on theology are so fundamentally in conflict. He was um… very attractive. Stupid musicians. Stupid martial artists. STOP LEADING ME ASTRAY!
La la la. For the record: Adi’s bracelet likes me best. (/inside joke)
poetictragedy | 29-Oct-02 at 7:03 pm | Permalink
if you ever come to oahu i’ll play you a song on my guitar :) …for a hug, that is. :)
crystalblue | 30-Oct-02 at 3:40 am | Permalink
See thats the presice reason I NEVER talk about religion, politics or abortion with anyone. Cause It alwasy leads to a fight or a conflict. Crystal does not like conflict. I try to stray away fomr talking about religion especilly when they are trying to shove their religion down your throat.
starladear6 | 30-Oct-02 at 6:54 am | Permalink
I don’t avoid it because I dislike conflict. Conflict can be very fun if it is between intelligent people. Discussing opposing issues can help people to understand them better and make more informed decisions about what side they are on.
Issues of morality and the afterlife, however, are poorly documented with unreliable case-studies… therefore real discussions about them have been proven to be fairly impossible.
clover334 | 31-Oct-02 at 6:10 am | Permalink
I think a good portion of religion exists as a proverbial shepard,
just to keep the flock of humankind in line.
I mean, it serves some good,
like to give people faith,
and to bring people together,
and it even keeps some people in line.
But for the most part, I think it just fucks people up…
Not really the religion itself,
but the people at the top of the ranks.
The powerful use it’s words to control the weak,
pit people against each other,
start wars.
I think that if the true meaning of religion were practiced,
It wouldn’t be so much of a conroversy.
There would be true peace.
But as it were, people get the meaning really fucked up.
This is why,
after years of “dogma-training” from 3 branches of religion,
I choose to be non-denominational.
I derive my own meaning from the spirituality I percive around me.
Some people would think me to be full of myself,
but really, all I can do is what feels right for me.
And people can tell me that I’m going to go to hell all they want,
becase i can laugh and say,
“That’s not a very chrisitan thing to say! Isn’t it suposed to be ‘love thy brother’ not ‘you’re going to HELL’?”
People are so silly.
starladear6 | 31-Oct-02 at 7:14 am | Permalink
I agree. the meaning gets pretty distorted. I mean, if you really break down religion into the main philosophical ideas that are underneath all the bureaucracy, you find that basically all religion is the same: play nice with others, behave, watch your mouth. Well, ok so there’s a little more to it than that. But really, the basic principles in almost all religions are the same. And yet, some people fight wars and excommunicate and hate each other because of it.
Doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t want to be a part of that.
And that’s cool that you come up with your beliefs from within. That’s a really fundamental thing in my own system of beliefs. *high five* Go our team. :)
clover334 | 02-Nov-02 at 6:05 pm | Permalink
*return high five*