Penny Hero (dot) Net

Btw…

This is funny. For all you Napster people out there:

“Kid Rock Starves To Death: MP3 Piracy Blamed”

I’ve decided that not all pop music is the work of the devil. Maybe I’m just going through some kind of odd phase, but I’ve been listening to quite a lot of it lately… Not only that, but I’ve been enjoying it. Now even Utada Hikaru’s really poppy songs are pretty awesome. Am I going mad? Or is it ok for someone who once condemned all pop music and the people who listened to it to Hell to suddenly be seen doing her chores and dancing to the sound of ATC’s “Around the World”?

I can even venture a few guesses as to why I’ve made this change. Raymond Carerra. You know, that 16 year old from work who I was infatuated with. The one who just made manager a few weeks ago. I discovered accidentally one day that he was what the Alternative World might call a “teenie-bopper”. Initially, this totally devastated me, and I tried to use it as an excuse to get over him. But to my dismay, I couldn’t shake the feelings I had. He was still a cool guy, despite his shitty musical tastes… And then I wondered if maybe his musical tastes weren’t all that shitty.

Another guess has to do with something I saw on tv recently. It was called “PopStars”. Americans are finally catching onto the genius-like tactics of the Japanese pop-culture industry and organizing a yearly “PopStar Search” for five talented young people, who they will train into being legitimate pop-stars. Japan has been doing this since before the CD was invented. Anyway, this “PopStars” thing on TV was actually pretty cool. These three judges traveled across country to hold open auditions. Some of their activities were filmed along the way, and that was what the weekly tv show was about. The coolest thing about this show was the spirit and ambition and raw emotion of all these young girls. They were so glassy-eyed and full of dream-like wonder. Some of them could really sing too! They came from all these different kinds of life-styles… from theater and drama background experience, to music-majors in college to the good old “Brainless Blonde with a Voice”. I just couldn’t believe how many girls in each of these cities were so ambitious… All of them that I saw on tv had these really sparkling personalities. Even the ones who did not get called back. All of them believed they had what it took to be pop stars. I admired their self-confidence and self-esteem. Getting up there took guts! I could tell auditioning was really difficult for some of them. There were nervous break-downs, shaking pale bodies, anxious tears, all right next to the overpowering diva-chicks. Most of these girls were real people with normal lives and normal fears and normal goals. That show sort of just gave me a new perspective on this mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad world.

Now, none of this has made me want to go out and become a pop star or anything… my musical tastes haven’t suddenly been inverted. It is more like they have been expanded. I’m still obsessed with the Pumpkins, and I still hate Eminem. I still prefer music with emotion and quality of depth, and a razor sharp guitar is always cool, but now the more manufactured sounds and simpler meanings of some pop songs and artists have begun to grow on me. I think I’ve begun to appreciate and maybe even approve of this enigmatic world of the modern music industry.

Now, is anyone out there gagging in my general direction?

and now the bells are ringing…
lahh lah lahh

“I just have to keep telling myself that it is just jpop… only in English”

(Eimii Tenshi, sometime early this year)

This is the second time in two days that the police have been here… I don’t like cops. I don’t like anything to do with the judicial system. Court today was shitty as hell. The Judge was an asshole… he wouldn’t even let Jeff speak. Wouldn’t let him explain… It really sucked shit.

And now the cops are here again because mom apparently called them. Damnit. I don’t know what is really going on… something about Jeff threatening to sue, mom wanting him to move out, and I am just stuck in the middle.

It was funny though… yesterday when the cops came I was outside practicing with Kiley’s sword. The cop got out of his car and yelled “Put the SWORD DOWN!” It was funny as hell. The look on his face I mean. If he only knew how harmless I was. If I tried to attack him, I’d probably end up slitting my own stomach or something… It was still really funny. I sat down in the grass and put the sword in front of me. Then when he was gone I continued practicing. The other cop came out and started talking to me about the sword… asked what I studied etc. he was kind of nice. I think he wanted to see if the sword was real and if they should put anything about it down in their little report. ha ha.

Anyway… Gah. make the stupid cops go away. I want my life back… My world is falling apart…. My family is falling apart. Crumbling crumbling… I am scared.

Anyway, So the beginning of my day was horrible. I have to go to court on Wednesday and it is all fucked up because Jeff still hasn’t gotten a new copy of his registration… and I actually spent all morning today looking at law books and discovered that we have been fucked since 10 days after he received the truck here. But at least I found out… and now I know more than Jeff does… which means that at our “family meeting” tomorrow, I can negotiate the payment of the ticket since I have to plead guilty on Wednesday…

Ok, make a long story shorter… My day totally changed during sixth period when I totally focused on wiring five items into a single circuit. two lamps, one switch and two AC outlets all wired in a specific way in 45 minutes. speed wiring man. :) it was fun. and I got better. and I FELT better after that. The upside of bipolar disorders. … :)